Considering relationships

I'll be pretty blunt and forward saying that I'd rather have not been in the male/female relationships I have been in *at all* looking back now. I think no-one can argue with a fact that if you are standing too close to another person, you can rarely see what is happening around you. And because of my experiences this has heightened my senses to other people's strange behaviours exponentially (I say strange, it's always very circumstantial).

The small things, particularly when you become familiar with someones speech patterns tend to stand out more. Regarding future plans someone will say "I" instead of "We" and it makes you think for a moment "Hang on a second, that's not right...". In regards of myself, particularly with my second boyfriend I did notice that dreams and intuition which at the time I was trying to stone-wall out of my mind were bringing my concerns to my mouth and when regarding the future "I" wanted to get a studio and "I" couldn't wait to do it after college, "I" was going to fit it out as a working system, and so forth.

Its safe to say I already knew it wasn't going anywhere and although I didn't realise it at the time, plans were already set in my mind of what was going to happen post break-up, where was I going to be, what did I want to be doing, and the feeling of adjusting my plans for my boyfriend at the time just seemed strange, a distinct feeling of pointlessness was in my mind and I thought along the lines "well if it comes to it, I'll change my plans then".

For now I am content collecting a wide-range of male friends and nothing more. I'll admit that I'm quite a modern woman, financial independence is key to my well being which will give me freedom to be able to take risks and do things in life which otherwise I couldn't.