Back to the mines


It's the last long slug before the Christmas break, I find myself writing from a seat on Ryanair flight heading back towards my dorm, well with a pit stop at the airport.
I have Slipknot blaring in my ears and I'm not half resenting having to go back to the mines. My work seems to solely be based on technical ability recently with very little creativity involved, a bit of a brain drain.
Whilst being home Mom and I binged on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I think I made Mom a convert. The town I study in is a complete drain and being stuck within the city centre doesn't really help, it's pretty hard to go anywhere out of town without the help of a car, train or plane which require financial permission. I pine for a sprawling landscape.
Even considering these factors I still somehow manage to live a rather nomadic lifestyle, I doubt I spend more than two months away from home when at college as I am constantly coming and going. Sometimes I wake up and I'm not entirely certain where I am.
My hands itch do get there hands on a tarot deck again.

I almost forgot I start ballet this week. I'm more than a little apprehensive that I won't have the time to attend due to having such a busy schedule and there's also the factor that I might chicken out. Half of me really wants to go for it whilst the other half fears I'm going to get yelled at and thrown out for not being good enough x.x
It's good to be single, I thoroughly enjoy being single in fact. I don't have to negotiate where I have to be and how long I can be away, let alone how much I've spent on a pair of shoes. I feel so liberated, relationships seem like such a chore in comparison. The problem with gaining your freedom as that you never wish to be locked up again, and a solitary life seems more than agreeable.
I do sometimes wonder whether that is the end of my amorous frolics, I don't feel I could feel a love stronger than my first love (the pesky musician). In away, I'm satisfied that I know what it feels like to experience real passion, but it also puts a huge contrast on anyone else I could ever meet. Perhaps it's because I met a twin soul that I've known for several lifetimes, it's difficult to eclipse that sort of connection but having known it, I'd rather have known it and long for it than not know it all.
Perhaps our fates are entwined but we're not the overruling lions that we yearn to be yet. Moons in Leo seem use a fight for dominance as foreplay, in my circumstances drawn out over several years but is damn fun. A cat and mouse game with two cats. When I was 16 I could walk across a room and make the hairs on his neck stand on end, whilst his eyes burned right into my soul like he new what I was thinking. Nobody should settle for any less.

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